it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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