Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
