What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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