Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
