She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
