Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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