Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
