Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
