Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
