would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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