tell your sister to shave her snatch
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
