boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
