my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
