yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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