he wants to bone in the snuggie
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
