I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
