Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
