so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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