if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
