A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
