i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
