Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
