party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
please come you make the beer taste better
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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