All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
