Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
