Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
