So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
