Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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