how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
