Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
