the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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