Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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