If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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