yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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