u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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