Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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