I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
