3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
