we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
