I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
