it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
