New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
