New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
