3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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