I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
