she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
