im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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