Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
