You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
