Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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