This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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